…which Matt G. thinks includes Rod Stewart, but that’s OK. It’s probably his last week anyway.

I’ve been remiss with my rundowns during an usually busy past couple of weeks, but here are some quick thoughts on last night’s performances.

1. Mentor Jamie Foxx mentions “throat Olympics,” which I didn’t know had anything to do with singing.

2. Kris the Kutey does an adequate job with “The Way You Look Tonight,” though his rendition makes it clear that he probably wouldn’t still be in the competition if not for the way he looks every night. His prettiness is much more compelling than his voice, and whenever he wasn’t making puppy eyes into the camera I found myself losing interest.

3. Allison sings “Someone to Watch Over Me” and is great as usual. Simon again brings up her lack of personality and confidence. He’s obviously lost his mind.

4. Further evidence of Simon’s madness: He thought Matt’s “My Funny Valentine” was the bee’s knees. Did he not hear the opening notes?

5. Danny and His Smugness sings “Come Rain or Come Shine,” one of my favorite songs. When he’s done, it’s no longer one of my favorite songs. Would love to see his reaction if he were booted tonight…

Abdul and DioGuardi

6. Adam again closes the show, this time belting out “Feelin’ Good.” He changes it up a little, which is usually a profoundly stupid thing to do with a classic (see: “Ring of Fire”) but this time it works — feels current, as the judges might say.

But instead they say the following: Kara yells that “my mouth drops open every time you perform!” Paula tells Adam that he makes her “feel better than good.”

Yikes! Maybe they should consider running the show after 10 p.m.

It’s Country Week, which has to be better than Michael Jackson week. Right? Well…

The judges are introduced as they walk onto the stage, a new bit of fanfare I’m not digging this season. Uh, is Kara from the future? What’s with the Mylar dress?

Skeletor is the guest mentor…oh wait, it’s Randy Travis. Anyway, let’s do this thing:

1. The Roughneck goes first, singing a Garth Brooks song that sounds an awful lot like “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” He’s OK; that harmonica player, though, is WAY too excited to be there. Roughneck sasses Simon, which is apparently the new thing to do, and it’s already getting old.

2. Allison sings “Blame It On Your Heart,” a song I’m not ashamed to admit I love. She’s great…no, wait, she’s dope, a word Randy will trot out once more before the end of the show and that I predict is going to be his new go-to critique.

Simon calls Allison precocious, which I don’t see at all; she’d have to look and sound like the 16-year-old she is to earn that description, and she definitely doesn’t look 16. Like a monkey, maybe. But not  16.

3. Kris “Teddy Bear” Allen is going to sing…”And So It Goes?” THIS IS NOT A COUNTRY SONG. Billy Joel wrote and recorded it. Bob Dylan did a cover. Not country. Gotta rewind the DVR; missed the very beginning of TB’s mentor session. OK, Garth Brooks covered it, too. Still not a country  song, but it’s pretty, even with TB’s not-outstanding vocals.

Simon says it “wasn’t over the top” — was he talking to Paula during some of TB’s flourishes?  And what was with that lurid eyebrow raise from Travis after TB finished his practice run? Yikes. Hope he got outta that room before kindly ol’ Randy offered him some Jesus Juice.

4. Lil sings Martina McBride’s “Independence Day” and sounds good to me. Randy once again proves he’s an idiot by saying “it didn’t feel comfortable for me on you.” Uh, maybe because she’s not a country artist? Most entertaining part, though, is when Simon insists on calling her “Little,” as if it’s the name on her birth certificate.

5. Adam matches Kara in a we-come-in-peace spaceman outfit. He mentions to Travis that he’s not doing Johnny Cash’s version of “Ring of Fire,” but one with sitars and an Indian flavor. Travis: “Now you’re scarin’ me.” And then to the camera: “I was speechless. I don’t know what to say about this boy.” Further rags on his nail polish but manages to say that Adam seems like a nice enough kid.

As far as the performance, I start typing that Adam, who has not been a favorite of mine, sounds hella-awesome on the high notes. But then he goes into his falsetto, and…oof. No good. And then he starts wailing!

Kara, Adam’s UFO co-pilot, sums it up politely: “It was strange.” But then Simon, as usual, sums it up best: “I think what Randy [Travis] was trying to say was, “What the hell was that? I think there are a lot of people throwing their televisions out the window right now….indulgent rubbish. Really, really horrific.”

6. More Martina McBride from Scott “Skating on My Disability” MacIntyre. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Please vote him off, people — his voice is just NOT that good. Plus, he looks like he belongs in Madame Tussauds.

On a side note, does Randy really think there will eve be a Bruce Hornsby week? He seems to be sipping from Paula’s cup. Told Scott that he was “looking for hot, crazy, unbelievable vocals from you.” Wrong contestant, dude.

7. Alexis is doing “Jolene.” Yay! Except — boo. The arrangement is bad; the vocals are meh. “I’m just trying to bring my own little flavor to it,” Alexis retorts, which is a great way to spin “I sucked.” Paula says, “I don’t care about pitch problems.” Really? Did my TV switch channels?

And are we doomed to spend the rest of the season hearing Alexis judged based on her level of “dirtiness?” For the love of God, please shut up about that throwaway piece of audition advice already.

8. Danny’s glasses perform “Jesus Take the Wheel.” The beginning is awful, but it’s all in the name of the big-ass power chorus. He mouths “wow” when Paula posits that Carrie Underwood herself (gasp!) would probably buy Danny’s cover of her song. Perhaps not surprising considering dude seems to be wearing a reverse straitjacket.

9. Anoop is singing “Always on My Mind.” I giggle when Travis mentions that Anoop Dawg sang it before and says, “It’s hard to get willy out of your mind.” Whoops, he meant “Willie.”

He sings; it’s “dope.” I can’t believe Simon says something as cheesy as “You just went from zero to hero.” I also can’t believe Anoop wore an argyle hoodie for country week, but whatev.

10. Ah, Megan…I should probably confess that I’ve anointed her my Idol girlfriend. She is singing Patsy Cline’s “Walkin’ After Midnight,” to which the obviously open-minded Travis responds: “Ummm…OK.”

I gotta admit that Megan’s cute little twists and inflections didn’t really work this time, though the vocals are better than the dancing. I also think she pulled a Haley Scarnato and misunderstood the gist of the song — it’s all aching and yearning, and Megan’s delivery was pretty cheery.

But wow — girlfriend had the flu, bad enough to have gone to the hospital. In light of that, Kara’s “You’re a winner!” doesn’t seem so…weird.

11. Matt Timberlake sings more Carrie Underwood, a ballad called “So Small.” Boring! Though, to be fair, not as boring as some of the others tonight.

Kara: “Matt, there ain’t nothin’ small about you!” Er…I’ll just leave it at that.

Actually, I think the best thing for a contestant like David C. — non-cookie-cutter, or “rocker” if you must — is to not win, but get damn close. Maximize your exposure without having to bend to Idol producers’ tastes when you make a record, you know?

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself. For me, David’s version of “Always Be My Baby” was this season’s “You Give Love a Bad Name” — thrillingly fresh and inventive, a great moment for a talent who in general has been getting better every week. And, of course, the fact that his sick brother was in the audience just made the moment more winning. I was really touched to hear Simon give him huge props, too.

King for a day, and possibly the season

I was also impressed with Kristy Lee’s vocals. I liked that Brooke, like David, turned in a version of a Mariah song that sounded nothing like something the diva put out. But then she went all “Jolene” and rushed it — gotta watch that! Jason pulled off a nice performance, too — liked the Latin beat, and overall it felt a little different and more animated than his surfer-dude usual.

Syesha, Carly, and David Archuleta were all technically solid but didn’t really do anything for me. I’m starting to think my speakers are going, because I used to get all goose-bumpy when Archuleta sang, but I’m just not hearing anything special from him lately.

Mariah seemed like a good mentor, as she actually, you know, gave contestants advice. Cheers! That’s possibly the big shocker of the week.

At this point, I have no clue who’s going home. Maybe Carly? I’d miss her, ’cause I love that girl’s hair!

That was Simon’s obvious if accurate advice to the guys at the start of the show tonight, and I’m hoping they take it seriously. Really, for all the this-year-is-AWESOME! blather they’ve slathered us with, I think this season is one of the worst so far.

The bottom-scrapers:

1. Streak Boy, aka Jason Yeager. Dude, you don’t flash a Vegas grin and do sassy head-cocks when singing lines like, “She lost her home and her family/And she won’t be comin’ back!” Does he even realize what “Long Train Runnin’” is about? And wait — good God, he did bite his lower lip while gazing into the camera. I apologize to my DVR for making it replay that moment.

Hey! Anybody out there ready to classic-rock?

2. Trying-too-hard-to-disguise-his-receding-hairline rocker David Cook. Cook’s version of “All Right Now” wasn’t terrible, but I’m starting to question the decision to allow the contestants to play instruments. I was OK with Jason Castro strumming away again this week, but I found Cook’s going electric totally distracting — and like the judges love to say, this is a singing competition. Who cares if you can shred? (Not that he did.) Plus, he lost even more points with me when he got testy with Simon. Does anyone ever really think it’s going to help them to show what wiseasses they can be?

3. I dig Danny Noriega, and I dig the Carpenters. But when he started droning “Superstar” I thought, He is not actually doing this, is he? A snoozer, even if his vocals were OK.

4. Sigh, I hate to say it, but: Michael Johns. “Go Your Own Way” might have been a good choice if he didn’t decide to add a weird vibrato half the time and injected a little more energy into his performance. And maybe it’s just me, but it seemed like that raised eyebrow to Paula was code for “Hey baby, maybe you can ‘coach’ me after the show.”

5. Robbie Carrico – meh. And no, we’re not exactly surprised that you’re into drag racing. Have you looked in a mirror lately?

Yeah, man!

My favorite performance of the night was Chikezie’s, which surprised me because 1) I hated his outfit and 2) I didn’t recognize the song — and anyone who’s dared played the radio while in a car with me can attest that I could totally own Singing Bee. But man, he belted it, and was one of the few guys who came off as a pro tonight. Just lose the polo shirts!

And, of course, chipmunk extraordinaire David Archuleta was technically perfect as usual. (And man, I’m floored every time I see footage of him belting it out back when he was, like, an embryo.) I wasn’t crazy about his interpretation of “Imagine,” but good is good.